Why we run after what breaks us — and call it romance.
You know the type.
He disappears for days. Responds with a breadcrumb. Makes you feel like the chosen one... and then vanishes.
So why do we chase?
Because your brain isn’t wired for peace. It’s wired for patterns.
💔 Intermittent Reinforcement: The Addictive Puzzle
When love is unpredictable — sweet one moment, cold the next — your brain lights up like a Vegas slot machine.
Psychologists call this intermittent reinforcement. You never know when the affection will come. So you keep pulling the lever.
Spoiler: It’s not love. It’s a behavioral trap.
And like all good traps, it feels just dangerous enough to be mistaken for passion.
🧠 The Wound That Chooses
We’re not just falling for a person.
We’re falling into a familiar emotional loop.
If love once meant proving your worth…
Or earning crumbs from emotionally distant caregivers…
Guess what kind of partner feels like “home”?
Exactly.
The one who gives just enough to keep you hungry.
🕷️ Love or Addiction?
Neuroscience says rejection and physical pain activate the same brain regions.
So when you say “I miss him,”
Your body might be going through withdrawal, not longing.
But we don’t romanticize cocaine.
We romanticize him.
💡 The Twist?
You’re not broken.
You’re repeating what your nervous system thinks is safe.
Until you realize:
Real love doesn’t spike your cortisol.
It steadies your breath.
Final Whisper
If he makes you cry more than laugh,
if you're scrolling, waiting, doubting...
That's not a soul connection.
That's your nervous system chasing a ghost.
Choose peace, even when your chemistry screams otherwise.
That's not weakness.
That’s rewiring.
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